The #1 Selling Male Sex Toy

As every man knows, there are certain drawbacks to jerking off with your bare hand. From decreased penis sensation to painful penile burns from chafed or calloused hands, jerking off with your hand can sometimes be a painful thing.

Fear not. There is a solution to all your masturbatory problems. Aside from having a woman around 24/7 standing by ready to suck your dick , the Fleshlight is the next best thing. The Fleshlight was made to simulate a real live vagina. Made out of a soft and silky flesh like material, the Fleshlight will NOT burn your dick, will not decrease your natural sensitivity and will not leave your hands all wrinkly from the excessive moisture that comes from using lube while jerking off.

Best of all the Fleshlight is easy to wash and clean and is completely sanitary. Your used gym sock is not. In fact im guessing that sock is filled with a bunch of germs, bacteria and other assorted disgusting creatures just waiting to enter your cock. Trust me, it’s not clean.

So if you’re wondering whether or not using a Fleshlight might be beneficial to you, take some time and think of all the reasons why I just explained why jerking off with your hand is such a bad thing. The Fleshlight is the only natural solution.

Get your own Fleshlight right now

More and more women are getting into the whole Fleshlight spirit. According to a thread on the Fleshlight Forum, it seems as if the ladies actually enjoy watching their men use the Fleshlight on themselves. Of course, it’s been well known that lot’s of women actually like to use the Fleshlight on their men themselves, but just sitting their and watching seems to be gaining ground in creating a whole new fetish.

What do you think ladies? Is this something you could get into yourselves?

Hollywood producers may want nothing to do with her but Fleshlight sure as hell does. Fleshlight has reportedly offered bad girl Lindsay Lohan $1million to pose for the sex toy company. Or more specifically they want to make a Fleshlight model out of Lindsays you know what so that millions of men all over the world can experience the pleasure and sensation of Lindsays vagina clutching their dicks.

Lindsays reps have so far offered no comment on the matter.

Fleshlight VS a real woman: Pros and Cons

So you’re thinking of replacing your womans pussy with a Fleshlight? I’ve made a list of all the pros and cons of fucking a Fleshlight vs fucking a real life woman to help aid you in your decision. Goodluck!

Pros:

• It’s there whenever the need arises
• Never says no
• No pregnancy worries
• No STD worries
• Can go as long or as little as you want and won’t bitch(no more 2 pump chump jokes)
• Cheaper than a real woman
• Once you’re done you put it away and move on to your next adventure
• Won’t bitch about how much TV you watch or how much beer you drink

Cons:

• Can’t make you a sandwich
• No titties to suck
• Can’t do your laundry or dishes
• Again, no titties to suck (I’m a big titty guy)

Feel free to ad your own in the comments section.

I recently saw this thread on the EbaumWorld.com’s forum where this girl got all bent out of shape because she found a Fleshlight under her boyfriends bed and it got me thinking.

He’res what “MyspaceJen” had to say

I found a fleshlight under my boyfriend’s bed and was a little grossed out. I still haven’t said anything to him but WTF is wrong with guys. I can see masturbating once in a while, as even girls do this. But at what point do you think sticking your penis in a fake flashlight is a little obsessive?

And YES he does get it from me too, before the “put out more” comments fly.

Alright, now I can understand the girls concern. Sure from her point of view it might seem a tad bit insulting to her ego that her boyfriend would find the need to keep a Fleshlight under his bed even though he has access to a real live vagina, but what she doesn’t understand is this….. Guys need to masturbate and we need to do it constantly.

Ladies, don’t be offended that we guys watch porn or that we have this uncontrollable urge to jerk off whenever the need arises. We’re all basically horny little monkeys with no self control what so ever.  It has nothing to do with you so don’t take it personally. It’s a testosterone thing. Something you just can’t understand so don’t even try to.

Accept us for who and what we are and accept the fact that we need are gonna be jerking off constantly.  So let us keep the damn things under our bed and don’t get so god damned offended.

And maybe if you put out more we wouldn’t have to jerk off so damn much. (Haha kidding )